Practical Empathy: False Consensus
True leaders create a vision, pick a direction, then align the motives and needs of their team toward a shared purpose. Alignment with another’s motives and needs takes empathy. In a previous article, we made the case that empathy is essential to effective leadership.
In one-on-one situations, we suggested that each party should work to understand each other better, forgive each other faster, and agree on a shared strategy. After all, much workplace strife is produced by gaps in expectation, rather than ineptitude or malice. When these expectation gaps arise, leaders aimed at empathy would do well by 1) slowing down and asking questions, 2) assessing without judgement, and 3) constructing a shared understanding.
This three-step process is effective on an organizational level as well. Leaders hoping to create a culture of organizational empathy should beware hidden hurdles in their understanding. One specific impediment that pops up is referred to as the false consensus effect.
The False Consensus Effect
Thomas Gilovich is a noted expert in decision-making and bias. His book How We Know What Isn’t So: The Fallibility of Human Reason in Everyday Life defines the false consensus effect as a “tendency for people’s estimates of the commonness of a given belief to be positively correlated with their own beliefs.” That is, people believe that other people’s assumptions are “slanted in the direction of their own choices,” (Gilovich, 1993, p. 113).
One well publicized example of this came from an experiment done on a university campus, where students participating in a study were asked to carry a sign that read “Repent.” Students who did not want to wear the sign assumed that 73% of their peers would feel the same way. Students who did want to wear the sign assumed that only 40% of their fellow classmates would decline. Regardless of their decision, they assumed that most of their peers would feel the same way (Ross, Greene, & House, 1977).
In self-selected groups like schools, companies, and social circles, the effect can be magnified.
False consensus effect appears in selection practices, as people gravitate toward people who think like they do. For example, if early-stage leaders in a company assume others have similar beliefs, they will enlist a confirmation bias as they add to their teams, perhaps seeing those with differing opinions as unwise outliers (Heshmat, 2015). Those whose opinions align with the hiring committee get hired; eventually those new hires grow into managerial roles and hire the next wave of employees. The bias ripples out into the expanding workforce. This is neither good nor bad, necessarily. But it does create an echo chamber, leaving leaders even more susceptible to the false consensus effect.
In the workplace and beyond, Gilovich notes that people are “selectively exposed to information that tends to support [their] own beliefs,” (Gilovich, p. 115). The harm of this effect can be multifold, but might be most obvious in efforts toward empathy.
When we work with teachers – employees across all sectors, for that matter – we often find sentiments that their leaders “don’t even try” to be empathetic. Existing workplace frustration is exacerbated when a leader does not recognize employee concerns. While there are multiple possible reasons for a leader’s miss, one is that they are subject to the effects of the false consensus. They think their people see what they see, feel how they feel.
Empathy includes the shared understanding of institutional issues.
At a rugged brick building outside of Boston, while consulting a well-intended and powerful leader, we addressed a gap in the way she perceived a challenging situation compared to her team. She admitted that “I didn’t even know they were upset,” which eventually led to, “yea, I guess I could have assumed.” Without prompting, she added, “I didn’t even ask how they felt about it…”
It is hard to aim for empathy when one is not aware that it is needed. Awareness is always the first step.
The Influence of Tough Times
According to Gilovich, leaders who have been through tough times might be more susceptible to the false consensus effect, especially on emotionally charged issues.
Gilovich reports that people are most likely to exaggerate social support for ideas which hold emotional relevance to them, even more so “when their sense of self-esteem has been threatened by a previous failure experience,” (p. 115)
Safe to say, all leaders?
Leaders with emotional investment in their ideas who have experienced failure in the past are more likely to believe (falsely) that others think the way they do, and they are less likely to change their mind on that idea, even if a logical case is made against the idea’s legitimacy. An absolute impasse for empathy, it would seem.
Versions of this dilemma have played out countless times since the COVID-19 pandemic. Imagine a School Administrator who did their best during one of the most challenging times in history, diligently planning initiatives to support students and local families, as well as their staff. While they tended to themselves and families of their own, their lives were submerged in meetings, light-speed ideations, and rapid implementation of new strategies.
Think of how painful and strange it must have been for them to see the people they serve so outwardly frustrated with so many of these new ideas. Part of them really believed that those in their district were thinking the same way. On the same page. Unified by that moment of fear and uncertainty. “I thought we were all in it together,” said a school principal we work with. “I guess we had different ideas of what ‘it’ was.” Fair enough.
There is room for empathy in both directions, always.
Leaders, be aware of this dilemma. Be willing to challenge your own assumptions. Employees, have some empathy for the leaders in your organization, especially if they can overcome these potential psychological biases and are able to lead well.
Moving Forward
Leadership is a decision to take those willing to follow in a worthwhile direction. Effective leaders align the motives and needs of their team with a shared institutional purpose. Doing so requires empathy, and the conscious effort to overcome potential hurdles to empathy, like false consensus.
Practical empathy requires a lot of close-looking. Plenty of care. It requires a leader to 1) slow down and ask questions, 2) assess without judgement, and 3) construct a shared understanding – one-on-one, or across an organization.
Successful cultures will normalize ‘alignment’ or ‘visibility’ meetings where the hope is not for consensus, but to see eye-to-eye and make the group’s thinking visible. Good leaders will bring safety and trust to these meetings, ensuring that contrary opinions can live and breathe, rather than linger in the shadows. Good leaders collect ideas. One might share a survey with write-in options before hosting small group or all-hands meetings. An additional support when attempting to avoid the false consensus effect might be to bring in an impartial moderator. Or appoint one from within.
There are plenty of paths toward empathy, none of them are easy. Empathy is hard. True leaders are willing to work for it.
Leaders, we know what you’re going through. If you ever need support, feel free to reach out.
References
Davis, J.D. (2022). Practical Empathy. Northwestern University Teacher Leadership Magazine. https://sesp.northwestern.edu/graduate-professional/teaching-learning-and-education/theory-practice-one-feed/practical-empathy.html
Gilovich, T. (1993). How We Know What Isn’t So: the fallibility of human reason in everyday life. The Free Press.
Heshmat, S. (2015). What is Confirmation Bias? Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/science-choice/201504/what-is-confirmation-bias
Ross, L., Greene, D., and House, P. (1977). The false consensus effect: An egocentric bias in social perception and attribution processes. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology (13) 279-301.
Tsipursky, G. (2016). The Keys to Avoid “Failing at Other Minds”. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/intentional-insights/201606/the-keys-avoid-failing-other-minds